From the beginning, I thought of Clara as a strong, independent, young woman, who always seemed confident in her own perception of herself and how the other's perceived her; however, as we have discussed in class, Clara seems to be going through this emotional metamorphosis, where she is starting to reveal more and more of herself. Not only is the reader noticing this change, but I feel that Clara is stepping forward as an individual through this journey of self-realization. She starts to acknowledge the real confusion and real fear that she has developed as her life has progressed.
At the end of class on Wednesday, we began to compare how Clara responded to situations at times like it was a fall from bliss cast by sin and evil. Focusing on her inner emotions, we notice that at one point in Chapter 9, Clara descends on this complete spiral to "personal damnation." The emotions expressed, remember that thus far throughout the novel Clara lacks a way at expressing herself, are so real and so powerful that you have to sympathize with the poor girl. The section in the chapter is the part where leaves her friends after Pleyel does not show up. Basically, Clara has all these worked up feelings about how if she pretends not to show interest in Pleyel he will confess his undying love for her; however, when he does not show to meet her friends, her world seems to end. With emotions high, she tells that "[her] heart was ready to burst with indignation and grief....thus had [her] golden vision melted into air!" (93). Showing her fall, she states "every ground on which I had built the persuasion that Pleyel was not unimpressed in my favor, appeared to vanish" (93). So much emotion, so much distraught, all of a sudden. And this outcome seemed to raise from involving oneself in lusting for someone that might not have the same desired interests as oneself, and putting them above other important aspects of life.
Although I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that Clara has been experiencing an emotional metamorphosis throughout the novel, I have also come to believe that she is doing a lot of maturing. I have come to the conclusion that these recollections were the first set of emotional challenges and obstacles that Clara has faced throughout her young life, with the exception of her father's mysterious death. Consequently, it seems to me that her father's death inhibited her growth as a person rather than inciting it-- this traumatizing experience elicited pity in all of those around her so she was less inclined, and/or less expected, to face greater challenges as time progressed. What I mean is, she was probably held to a different (lower) standard than others because most people instinctively viewed her as someone who has 'gone through so much.' As a result, her existence was relatively peaceful and uneventful paralleling the idea of an emotion Eden.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I think it is easy to say that her 'fall from grace' was more of a reality check. These sudden challenges that have appeared forced her to confront them as an adult rather than as the 'daughter of the man who died.' The fact that her reactions to these challenges were unexpected or 'unlike' her makes us think that she has reacted differently to similar situations in the past, which is most definitely not the case. The view that she had of herself before these occurrences was completely idealized. Nothing in her life had ever happened that would lead us to believe that she had dealt with things like this well. In conclusion, I think these discoveries about herself are not so much part of a 'metamorphosis' as they are part of the self-realization that comes with growing up and maturing.